Get a Dog
February 8th, 2013
This is a tale, no pun intended, well ok it is, of a girl who dreamed of being a Mother when she grew up. Actually it is an ode to all girls, now women, out there, who foolishly believed that they would be a Mother one day. It is also a tale of a woman who was a cat person until a dog wandered into her life at the height of her quest toward Motherhood.
Practice Makes Perfect
She grew up reading the Little Golden Book “Little Mommy” over and over again. She was an expert swaddler with her dollies and her cat, Fluffer (she didn't know this word meant anything other than very fluffy). When her youngest brother entered the picture, she swaddled him and carried him around and dressed him up too. She was a natural caregiver-- she rescued baby animals and strays and still does.
Her Life Plan
Go to college. Graduate College. Get a job in Advertising. Travel. Get Married by 28. Own a home. Have three children. Travel. Become a writer. Become a Grandmother. Travel. Die, happy.
Teaching
Her students asked her on her first day; do you have any children? She said No, I'm not married! Her students said, so?! She was shocked. Later that year, they asked her if she was pregnant; again she said no; I'm not married. It was her beer belly. She went on a diet. One day she announced she was getting married.
When Are You Going to Have Children?
On the day she reported she was getting married to her family and her students, the first thing they all said was when are you going to have children? She replied; I'm not even married yet! She thought nothing of the fact that she'd be 33 by the time she actually married. People were having children at much later ages nowadays.
San Diego
She left teaching, got married, moved to San Diego and started a new life. Her husband was not ready for kids. Children could wait until she was settled, had steady income and a house of her own.
A Home of Their Own
They lay on the floor of their new home rejoicing at last that "we have something that is ours, a little piece of the world. We must build our nest and nest egg before fledglings can join us". They worked very hard on improving their home, developing their business and finally trying to have kids.
A Stray Dog
She sees a very cute dog wandering the neighborhood for a few months. On the day the giant Eucalyptus tree that has been threatening their home is being cut down; this dog comes on the property. She feeds him, he is emaciated and starving. He comes everyday. She plays ball with him. She feels she understands this dog. She asks him what he wants to be called. In her head she hears "Chester". People laugh at this name; they name him Oliver Twist.
They decide to take him in. They discover he used to live down the street. Another neighbor has known him since he was a pup; his name was "Chester".
The dog has wanderlust. They build their first fencing to keep him from running off. He begins attacking people who visit. They bring him to training.
A Doctor's Advice
There are still no children. She goes to the baby Doctor with her husband. The Doctor tells her: "Get a Dog". She wants to scream at him, but replies instead: "I have one!" He sends them to a specialist. He tells her we can implant a 20 year old's embryos for many thousands of dollars and MAYBE it will work. He tells her more things she would rather not hear. They decide they don't want a baby that bad.
Dog Walk
She has become very good friends with this dog. She walks all over town with him. The dog bites more people, but only at the house. They build more fences. Trainers come to the house. He sees vets. They build more fences. They justify keeping him, they must be bad dog owners. They implement other safeguards. He attacks more people. They change his diet. They get him medication. The vet tells them maybe they should put him down.
She feels that she has been given this dog instead of a child. If she had a child with issues, no one would suggest "putting it down" or giving up on trying. She resolves to do whatever it takes to keep the dog safely out of others reach, for his safety and theirs. He bites the one person he has known all of his life, twice in one summer!
DogWalk becomes GodWalk
They have never witnessed one of Oliver's attacks. It is quick, unprovoked and violent. She realizes that if it were a child he attacked, he would have maimed or worse killed that child. She thinks of all the friends and family he has scarred. It cannot go on anymore. He is getting worse. They make the worst decision of their lives.
He trustingly gives her his paw. The vet injects sleeping juice and then the poison. The dog gives her a look she can never forget and he fights it. She wants to yell; I changed my mind! But it is too late. He passes away peacefully in their arms at the vet. They cry for days, weeks, months. She cries now to retell it. She misses this dog very much; she struggles with the why-- why she would have to be given such a gift instead of another and then such hardship and hard decision.
She realizes it is the way of the universe. She has come to terms with being a cat person and an Aunt.
She has gotten another dog. He is a good, friendly dog and she is still a bad dog owner. . . .
