Reflections of a Teacher
January 4th, 2013
On my first day of high school teaching, one of my students yelled out "we'll sue you!" I replied "Go ahead, I am poor, I don't have a house and have college debt; see how far you will get." They never threatened that again. I quickly learned that I would be tested constantly and that I had to be one step ahead and never shocked by what they might say and that often they did not mean it. In fact I very often had turn away because I was laughing so hard and didn't want them to know.
I loved my first position as a High School English teacher who helped develop and run the Freshman Curriculum in the Inland LA area. My position was part of a government funded program called Classroom Reduction. I had classes between 4 - 20 students, allowing me time to work with each student individually. I fought to teach them the real version of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet; rather than the easy reading version the school was using. I was so proud of my ESL students when they enthusiastically wanted to read aloud and were the only ones who performed scenes in actual Shakespearean language. I Co-Directed the school play, ran clubs, helped with Track & Field. I worked closely with the English and Counseling Departments and with the School Attendance/Discipline Director on a drug task force. I experienced great joy in my job every day. The funding ran out and my position was no longer available. Actually, I found out years later, what really happened was a higher up at the school was having an affair with the teacher who took the space available. . . .
Next I became an English Teacher in LAUSD. My first week I was in a trailer with 65 students sitting on the floor, at desks and on top of them. I was a young twenty something with over half of those students being 18 year old boys sitting within inches of and at eye level with my behind.
When the Department Head approached me to start up and run the Reading Lab Program as the Reading Lab Coordinator for the English Dept., I jumped at it. I had to scrounge for furnishings, books, computers, buy a blackboard and many of my own materials and supplies. My classroom was a tiny teacher lounge outside of a bathroom. Thankfully we were located in the Special Education Building where I sought out and received a great deal of advice on my students’ issues. I also worked closely with the ESL Department.
In this position, I encountered many students who had been failed by our system. Many of my fellow teachers took advantage by passing on their "discipline problem" students to me. I discovered the source of these issues. Many had unidentified issues in learning, such as: vision and hearing problems, dyslexia, non mastery of the English language and placement in courses requiring mastery; many simply were reading at 1st and 2nd grade level or were nonreaders and were 14 - 21 years old, trying to pass high school level courses. That was only the beginning of their issues, they had behavior/disciplinary problems at and outside of school, they had problems at home, were neglected, many were gang members. Most had experienced a lifetime of failure and had low esteem.
Every 8 weeks I had to try to help a new group of them. I loved these students, probably too much. They told me all of their problems. Together we worked on them. Many of them finally understood the reasons for the failure they experienced, others’ problems were identified and corrections offered-- sometimes as simple as wear your eye glasses in class; sit in the front of the room-- many just gained some self esteem, they all discovered the joy of reading. Somehow 8 weeks had to make up for a lifetime. . . .
Unlike my first job, I did not love the system I was working in nor the conditions I worked under. I felt I was putting a child sized band aid on a life threatening wound and became depressed and burnt out. I was pressured to "fix grades" so the school could receive funding. I was unsupported by my own department. I was beyond overworked. I cried everyday, I cried for my students and all the problems I could not fix, I cried at the unfair system we live in, I cried for the wasted time, the loss to our society, I cried because I was emotionally, mentally and physically drained. After only 2 years teaching here year round, 7 classes per day, I had to take a break from teaching.
I had a long hiatus from teaching during which I got married, moved to San Diego, become a mosaic tile artist and then partnered with my husband in our remodeling and design company and hoped to start a family. Unfortunately, we were unable to have children. So we spent our time with friends, neighbors, family and their children. I have always missed teaching. A long time has passed and after a period of having served as a Nanny to an infant for a year and hearing the frustrations friends had finding daycare for their children, I realized this was a niche I could fill and I decided to return to my original calling.
LittleLiving was hatched-- a Reggio Emilia inspired licensed home infant/toddler learning center and daycare. This time I want to experience the other end of the spectrum. I hope to work with children, full of the joy and desire for learning. I will build solid foundations, instill the joy of reading, identify any issues early, work together with parents and prepare these children for a lifetime of success. I promise to provide a homelike, safe, nature infused environment with a small student to teacher ratio of no more than 6 to 1. I promise to allow children to BE little and nurture them to Become all they dream to be!
